Humanist psychologist Carl Rogers believed that self-concept is made up of three distinct parts: ideal self, self-image, and self-esteem. His theory explains what it means when these parts are congruent or incongruent with reality, which impacts your self-concept.
Rogers described the self-concept as being composed of three parts:
- Ideal self: The ideal self is the person you want to be. This person has the attributes or qualities you are either working toward or want to possess. It’s who you envision yourself to be if you were exactly the person you wanted to be.
- Self-image: Self-image refers to how you see yourself at this moment in time. Physical characteristics, personality traits, and social roles affect your self-image.
- Self-esteem: How much you like, accept, and value yourself contributes to your self-concept. Self-esteem can be affected by a number of factors, including how others see you, how you think you compare to others, and your role in society.
In other words, the ideal self is who you want to be, and the real self is who you are now.
All of us imagine ourselves at our very best – someone who is at peak productivity, who is at an ideal weight, who exercises the right amounts, is a roaring success – we all want to be that person. This is usually shaped by us and in many ways quite realistic. For instance, I would not think of my ideal self as Elon Musk – I like the guy, but it is not me. I don’t aspire to live that way, nor do I have any false assumptions about my capabilities and reach.
But I do have an ideal self – one who wakes up the right time everyday, does his yoga, works through tasks with ruthless efficiency, manages to spend enough time with family in spite of all the workload, goes through the days and months achieving what I set out to achieve – a steady climb towards the next level.
Reality is very different though. But it is ok – I accept this too. The problem happens when the deviation goes beyond an acceptable range. That’s when the gap between the real self and the ideal self starts to show a bit too much.
And so when this happens, one has to re-calibrate. Make enough adjustments so that one gets back on track. I need to do this every once in a while, and currently my real self is quite far from my ideal. Somehow that work I need to get done does not finish when I want it to, that kata class that I want to do regularly doesn’t materialize, those books that I want to read end up not being read…you get the drift.
Trying to use this time during the end of the year to get myself sorted. Do you experience this as well? How do you go about your recalibration?
Do let me know.
See you tomorrow!